Now that my kids are grown and I have grandkids, I can look back and see that I didn't do as bad a job as I thought I did. My kids were 3 yrs and 2 mns old when the drunk driver hit my car and started me on this new path. During those first years I just knew I was cheating my kids of the life they should be having; I always felt quilty on top of everything else. But as time went on, and I could step back and really look at the "whole picture" I realized my kids where great kids, both were "A" students, had good friends and seemed to be doing ok in their lives.
So I guess what I'm trying to say is that while you're right there in the middle of it, you can't see the good because of how bad you feel. When I talk to my kids now (both are parent's now) they thank me for raising them the way I did knowing what I was going through; how difficult life was for me.Basically, telling me that I did a really good job and they hope they can do as good a job raising their kids!
So hang in there . . it's not always as bad as you think it is. Kids understand a lot more then folks give them credit for . . and that whole "keep the house spotless crap" is just that . . as long as nothing is "growing out of the woodworks" your house is okay. The time you take away from spending it with your kids because you where cleaning and now you're in too much pain to be with the kids, is not worth it. Give the kids the time, the house can wait!
Just some advice from someone who's been doing this for the past 31 years . . . hugs from Caryn
